How I Covered THAT
GAME STORY #1 The Red Sox got it done. With a 3-2 victory over the Orioles and the unlikely help of the rival Yankees, Boston clinched the American League wild card on the final day of the regular season. GAME STORY #2 BALTIMORE — Step one is done. Now comes the hard part. With a 3-2 victory over the Orioles, the Red Sox took care of their own business at Camden Yards. Unfortunately for them, the...
We are remembered for the totality of our accomplishments, but we are defined by...– Downtown Owl
During a period of my life, thankfully behind me now, I used to see Adolf Hitler...– Bolano, Last Evenings on Earth
I watched a film recently...
It took me like five different sittings to get through it, which isn’t really a comment on the film itself as much as one about how hard it is for me to sit through silent films that aren’t, you know, an hour long (love you, Cabinet of Dr. Caligari). The plot itself is, as Lang himself admitted afterward, a bit naive. Even I thought it was politically neat and trite. Plot...
Oh, Seventh Grade Grammar Class
MRS. DEVINE: "In the sentence 'He's confident,' what's the verb, children? It's confident."
ME: "It's is."
MRS. DEVINE: "Is isn't in the sentence."
ME: "He is confident. It's is. It is is."
I think we left out the game of “scrotum”?– A Conversation about Middle-School Recess
Of course. I do a lot of normal things: I snap my fingers 100 times each...– Principal Seymour Skinner (line was cut: http://splitsider.com/2010/11/the-lost-jokes-and-story-arcs-of-sweet-seymour-skinners-baadasssss-song/3)
Nine-eleven had nothing to do with baseball; the... →
The Bald Soprano
MR. SMITH: Tsk, it says here that Bobby Watson died.
MRS. SMITH: My God, the poor man! When did he die?
MR. SMITH: Why do you pretend to be astonished? You know very well that he’s been dead these past two years. Surely you remember that we attended his funeral a year and a half ago.
MRS. SMITH: Oh yes, of course I do remember. I remembered it right away, but I don’t understand why you yourself were so surprised to see it in the paper.
MR. SMITH: It wasn’t in the paper. It’s been three years since his death was announced. I remembered it through an association of ideas.
Bravo, Mr. Fletcher
FLETCH: You know what tipped it for me was something your wife said while we were in bed together?
STANWYK: Oh, and what was that?
FLETCH: Curiously, she said we had roughly the same build -- from the waist up, I imagine.
Self-mutilation is an underrated comedy gold mine.– Colleague