Trying to Liven up the Mets
Keith: I think we should do a homer broadcast. Just be homers.
Gary: Like...pretend we're on the South Side of Chicago?
Keith (on foul dribbler): OH NO, STAY FAIR!
I want to write a book like Zadie Smith — something that talks about how...– Nina, Bored to Death
In which Rick Reilly invents a term and then fails... →
"All the negatives of the Soviet Union — the... →
So are you one of those liberals who doesn’t like fun or can I turn up...– My cab driver last week (I didn’t like the mutual exclusivity of the question)
Him: Is Lindsay Lohan going back to jail?
Me: For what this time?
Him: She admitted she was back on drugs.
Me: What is wrong with her?
Him: Well, Tim, why don't you quit heroin and come back and tell us all how easy it is.
I can’t believe I’ve walked through this city for three days without...– Chad, on Baltimore
She’s not exactly appropriately dressed. And this is coming from someone...– Jenn Sterger Weighs In On Ines Sainz: “She Accomplished Exactly What She Set Out To Do”
The Times can't say "tweet" in their stories, but... →
Memory is a kind of accomplishment a sort of renewal even an...– WCW, Paterson
"Two, who is Legedu Naanee? The guy had started... →
"And while my preference tends toward college... →
I have often been reproached with the aridity of my genius; a deficiency of...– “MS. Found in a Bottle,” Edgar Allan Poe
"In fact it wouldn't be worth mentioning the views... →
Even I kind of like football, and I hate football.– John
I still only rank it as Piazza's third best homer →
The Falling Man
The following is a response I wrote in college to Tom Junod’s fantastic piece, “The Falling Man.” It was a welcome relief. I was in over my head in my second-period Spanish class on my third day of high school, and hearing the principal speak a language I understood allowed me to take a deep breath and relax for a second. “¿Inglés?” my teacher scoffed jokingly at the beginning...
"I do know that if Hernandez doesn’t get the Cy he... →
"I just told them, 'Look, the Super Bowl isn't for... →
"But if there’s one thing I hope this little... →
I enjoy the work of Pete Thamel as much as the... →
My favorite part about this otherwise... →
"Here's a brief list of things that are more... →
"But then I remembered how much easier it is to... →